April 30, 2009

I’m a very reasonable person, and my mind and moods are artfully ordered. When it comes down to serious things I’m appropriately rational. I know that I’ve never been uncontrollably depressed or desperate, I’ve never been suicidal or anxious, I really do believe that I keep a pretty tight leash on my emotions (the ones deep down anyway) and throughout my life I have been pretty happy and content.

Yet this year I have found myself falling into desperation…


I just want to go somewhere, and do stuff, and and and and and get OUT of this LIFE!!!

Oh shut up your concerns. I’m speaking in semi-irony.



April 24, 2009

I absolutely LOVE this website.

I’m a huge fan of Miwa Yanagi. I’m not a huge art person, but her work is so many fucking positive adjectives I don’t know where to begin. This website is really cool as well but not what got me into her work. I bought an album of her “Elevator Girls” series which was pretty amazing, I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with all the postcards I got from it, but it’ll be a centerpiece somewhere sometime.


April 23, 2009

I always love conceptualizing a new story or poem but I hate ending it and I often never do. It’s the same with the paintings I’ve done in the past few months – I begin really well and dread finishing it. I end up having a huge stack of unfinished paintings, or on the other hand, I have a pile of work really badly finished because I lost my love for it after the focus feature.
In the case of my stories, I get into a really creative mood and write a lot down that reads pretty well – and then once I hit the conflict or the most grand part in my mind, I get bored and very quickly over it and just file it away and never touch it again. Then for the next few days I’ll go back to it, read the good parts over and over again and just regret writing it and getting myself into the frustrating situation where my mind refuses to conclude it.
With my Chinese paintings I HATE coloring them. I usually just leave them in black and white because I’m either too afraid of ruining it with my poor color shading skills, or I like it bland and amateur (ie. too lazy to finish).

Grr! This is an angry bear that is the finished quality of which I aspire to achieve.

April 22, 2009

At work today I was cleaning a table, collecting the dishes etc., and while I was wiping the table with a cloth I spontaneously looked up and made eye contact with a lady about 3 metres away from me and 10 years older than me. It was such a brief moment but it stayed in my head for some time after. She was a bit pretty, not what I’d call eye-catching but there was something…stimulating or intriguing about her ordinariness. When I looked into her eyes I instantly, without a doubt, knew that she thought I was someone else for a brief moment. I saw that look of recognition and excitement in her eyes which lingered for a brief moment while in her head she realized that, beyond question, I wasn’t the person she hoped I was.

Clearly eye language can be deceiving but I am so positive that she thought I was someone else, and we both shared this fact for a short time. The moment stayed in our minds for a while afterwards and it’ll surely be forgotten by her. That’s why I mindfully noted it with the intention of writing it here so I could save that really insignificant and fleeting experience, because it’s things like these which make up my whole day. I don’t romanticize every mundane and banal interaction, but I do dwell on a lot of it – and this so happened to leave an impression on me which I don’t even understand, and because I don’t understand it I feel it must be significant in one way or another and is definitely worth reporting! 😛

Philip out.


April 21, 2009

I love this song!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “untitled“, posted with vodpod


April 19, 2009

I will read this in two years and cover my face with my palm.